26 August 2008

I'd Just Like To Get Some Sleep

Another night of sleeplessness. I've been waking up at 4:00 every morning for about the last three weeks. Too much stress at work, at home and the nagging anxiety about Thursday's tests jolt me awake every night.

I saw Dr. Nuesch, my radiation oncologist this morning, believing we were finally through with each other. After his examination, he said he thought we should keep an eye on the hardness that refuses to go away. It's on the side of my breast and a ridge under my left breast. Generally speaking, I try not to notice. I'll be seeing him again, but I get a break for a year.

While I was waiting, I noticed a photograph of me in my (extensive) patient files. No wonder people cried when they saw me. I looked really sick. I was really sick. Seeing it made me a little sad. I'm not sure why.

Tomorrow, off to Houston.

25 August 2008

Unproductive

I'm hiding in my office today, feeling profoundly unproductive. My annual breast cancer check is coming up on Thursday. It's always nerve-wracking, even though I have every reason to believe all is well.

Not much will get done today or tomorrow. Wednesday, I'm off to Houston. Thursday is the marathon day at M.D. Anderson, beginning with blood work at 7:00 a.m. I'll see Dr. Ross at the end of that day. It's something to look forward to.

I won't be able to drive back until Friday, but then I get a non-medical day off on Monday. I just want to get the week over with.