I've been trying to think of something else to say, but all I can come up with today is that I'm appalled at the level of discourse in this country. The latest example is the Schiavo controversy, but I've been appalled a lot longer than that. It's the incessant emoting that's driving me crazy. It seems that everywhere I look, someone is wringing their proverbial hands over something or they're enraged about something. Generally speaking, the emoting is totally disconnected from the facts at hand. Here's the deal. I don't really give a happy fuck how the news folks...or anyone else...feel.
I'd just like the facts. Why is that so hard to get these days? It's so much easier and intellectually cheaper to resort to emotion, I suppose. Here's a mystery. We keep telling our children how important education is, but I'll be damned if we ever demonstrate any intellectual rigor.
Don't get me wrong, virtually every news story worth telling has a solid emotional hook. I have feelings about the Schiavo controversy, the Scott Peterson trial, etc. I just think we've gone way too far into the touchy-feely realm.
I was watching Nancy Grace last night and she had really worked herself into a lather about Terry Schiavo. She was supposed to be interviewing a neurosurgeon, but she really had absolutely no interest in the medical facts. She just wanted to get stuck in that emotional groove and god forbid that someone should try to offer analysis. I love Nancy Grace. I love the fact that she's this Southern belle with hair teased into a frenzy, yet she can go for the jugular when she deems it necessary. It's really a wonderful combination. If she'd just try to calm down every once in a while, I'd really appreciate it.
America. What a cheap date. We're such an excitable nation and we're so easily entertained. I'm just tired of it. Here's the quote of the day:
"Just once in a while let us exalt the importance of ideas and information." ~ Edward R. Murrow
America held hostage day 1898
Bushism of the day:
"I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race." —Describing a phone call to Sen. John Breaux. Crawford, Texas, Dec. 2, 2000
Website of the day: Iraq Body Count
http://www.iraqbodycount.net/
23 March 2005
Harridans
I noticed it late in the afternoon yesterday, after spending a couple of hours with my dentist. The harridans inside my head started telling me that I deserve to die. It took a little while before I recognized that it wasn't just a fleeting thought, but a tidal wave of voices. The thoughts woke up with me this morning and have been around all day. whenever I have a moment when I'm not concentrating on something else, my brain returns to that same old tired recording. even though I don't take them seriously, those thoughts are difficult to completely dismiss.
It's not that I have any intention of hurting myself. That option disappeared long ago, even before my father killed himself. When I was around 23, it occurred to me that I couldn't kill myself until everyone who loves me dies. It wasn't a happy revelation. After my dad committed suicide, i fully understood the correctness of that commitment.
It's just very troubling that I can't just stop this internal haranguing. As I mentioned earlier, my therapist suggested that those voices should be directed at the people who hurt me when I was a child. Of course that list is pretty extensive, so sometimes it's hard for me to figure out which villain should be receiving the brunt of the internalized rage these voices represent.
I think my inability to silence the voices is one of the reasons I continue to feel so damaged by my childhood. My therapist likes to point out that I'm the most traumatized people she's ever treated and one of the least damaged. I know that's true. When you wake up first thing in the morning to a Greek chorus of self destructive thoughts, it's hard to have a good feeling about yourself.
Quote of the Day:
"Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy." ~ Aristotle
America held hostage day 1897
Bushism of the day:
"Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work." —60 Minutes II, Dec. 5, 2000
Website of the Day: Investigating the New Imperialism
http://www.williambowles.info/
It's not that I have any intention of hurting myself. That option disappeared long ago, even before my father killed himself. When I was around 23, it occurred to me that I couldn't kill myself until everyone who loves me dies. It wasn't a happy revelation. After my dad committed suicide, i fully understood the correctness of that commitment.
It's just very troubling that I can't just stop this internal haranguing. As I mentioned earlier, my therapist suggested that those voices should be directed at the people who hurt me when I was a child. Of course that list is pretty extensive, so sometimes it's hard for me to figure out which villain should be receiving the brunt of the internalized rage these voices represent.
I think my inability to silence the voices is one of the reasons I continue to feel so damaged by my childhood. My therapist likes to point out that I'm the most traumatized people she's ever treated and one of the least damaged. I know that's true. When you wake up first thing in the morning to a Greek chorus of self destructive thoughts, it's hard to have a good feeling about yourself.
Quote of the Day:
"Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy." ~ Aristotle
America held hostage day 1897
Bushism of the day:
"Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work." —60 Minutes II, Dec. 5, 2000
Website of the Day: Investigating the New Imperialism
http://www.williambowles.info/
terry schiavo
steroids and terry schiavo. our legislators have determined these are the burning issues that must be attended to right away. not the breathtaking deficit. not the fact that the middle class is diminishing in size every day. shall i go on? i could probably sit here all day, naming other issues.
the terry schiavo legislation just absolutely boggles the mind. this fight has been going on for 15 years now. every court which has agreed to hear it have ruled that she made her wishes clear. her husband has been trying to honor those wishes.
as for the parents, i understand the need and desire to hang on. just because they "believe " something to be true doesn't mean it factually true. i may believe the world is flat. i may believe w. is the easter bunny. all of that is fine, but it doesn't mean that legislation should be enacted to perpetuate their misunderstanding of the situation. i could understand if she were in a coma. some people come out of comas--not many, apparently--but some. that's not the case here. her head is filled with spinal fluid. no amount of therapy or love will change that.
so our elected officials decide to intervene. what happened to state's rights, the darling of republicans everywhere? that gets negated when we don't like the courts' decisions? it's so much easier for them to focus on this rather than the multitude of problems this country is facing. it's one of those feel-good things. ultimately, their legislation won't mean anything. the supreme court has already refused to hear it. nonetheless, your average legislator can point out how committed he/she is to the right to life, despite supporting capital punishment and war. it just feels good, though.
i've heard several people suggest that having a living will is the solution, despite the fact that even those wills have been circumvented by hospitals and doctors. a living will is only as good as the medical personnel who encounter it.
back to my original point. first of all, congress should butt the fuck out. secondly, why don't you guys do something that's actually productive. of course, that might mean that some of the decisions we've been reaching have been utterly wrong. people might actually have to engage their brains and think for a change. you know how bad that is. we do not want our legislators thinking. and we for damn sure don't want citizens to be thinking. we'd rather that knee-jerk reactions and hidden agendas should plot our national course. we want our fellow americans to busy themselves with "survivor" or, better yet, "american idol."
i'm going to have to stop now because it's time to go home. more tomorrow.
the terry schiavo legislation just absolutely boggles the mind. this fight has been going on for 15 years now. every court which has agreed to hear it have ruled that she made her wishes clear. her husband has been trying to honor those wishes.
as for the parents, i understand the need and desire to hang on. just because they "believe " something to be true doesn't mean it factually true. i may believe the world is flat. i may believe w. is the easter bunny. all of that is fine, but it doesn't mean that legislation should be enacted to perpetuate their misunderstanding of the situation. i could understand if she were in a coma. some people come out of comas--not many, apparently--but some. that's not the case here. her head is filled with spinal fluid. no amount of therapy or love will change that.
so our elected officials decide to intervene. what happened to state's rights, the darling of republicans everywhere? that gets negated when we don't like the courts' decisions? it's so much easier for them to focus on this rather than the multitude of problems this country is facing. it's one of those feel-good things. ultimately, their legislation won't mean anything. the supreme court has already refused to hear it. nonetheless, your average legislator can point out how committed he/she is to the right to life, despite supporting capital punishment and war. it just feels good, though.
i've heard several people suggest that having a living will is the solution, despite the fact that even those wills have been circumvented by hospitals and doctors. a living will is only as good as the medical personnel who encounter it.
back to my original point. first of all, congress should butt the fuck out. secondly, why don't you guys do something that's actually productive. of course, that might mean that some of the decisions we've been reaching have been utterly wrong. people might actually have to engage their brains and think for a change. you know how bad that is. we do not want our legislators thinking. and we for damn sure don't want citizens to be thinking. we'd rather that knee-jerk reactions and hidden agendas should plot our national course. we want our fellow americans to busy themselves with "survivor" or, better yet, "american idol."
i'm going to have to stop now because it's time to go home. more tomorrow.
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