Manifestation of Grace

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

I just hugged someone who betrayed me several years ago. I thanked her for stopping by. I'm not sure whether that means I've moved farther down the road to forgiveness or that I'm not brave enough to continue on with my cold indifference. I could say having cancer makes a difference in one's ability to see past human frailty, but I'm not sure that's true.

Every day, I pray for and work towards forgiveness and the abandonment of rage and hatred. In this particular case, hugging was a manifestation of grace in my life. There's still a small part of me keeping track of the things she did. Maybe someday I'll stop remembering. I'm not quite that strong yet.

Surgery countdown: 7 days

Too Much Going On, Including Surgery

M.D. Anderson is clearly in sight now. I'll be leaving Wednesday to ensure I get to an early morning sonogram. Later on, The Beloved Dr. Ross. I'm hoping on this trip, he'll ask me to move in with him so he can take care of me forever. Let's not forget that I have hair and muscle tone now. Anything could happen. (Obviously, I'm hard-pressed to contain my anxiety. Dr. Ross is the perfect antidote.) Friday, I drive back to Austin.

On Monday, I drive back to M.D. Anderson for pre-op consults and an appointment with Dr. Kronowitz early Tuesday morning. Wednesday: Surgery.

I got all new "roll out" materials to their appointed destinations and provided on-site managers with extra copies of required forms. I rock.

For all the lovers of Crazy Land tales, an encounter with Foot Lady for your pleasure. I went downstairs to her office to provide her with the extra forms to take to her supervisors. Guess what we talked about next? Yes! Yes! Her feet! She did not plop her foot on the desk for illustrative purposes, but she did flop it on a nearby chair. Some things simply will not change. Foot Lady's ongoing foot problems is one of them.

The workers' comp company is driving me to distraction. I received a new claim today for an insect bite. I recently allegedly gained the ability to submit claims online. Twice I have tried it, twice it has not worked. I called tech support today, told the guy the problem, and he says, "Well, you got me stumped. I'll have to have someone call you." Great. I've got all the time in the world.

I submitted yet another paper claim, after having wasted a fair amount of time and an enormous amount of patience trying to get the lightening-fast online reporting system to work. I got the letter to the employee printed, but that's as far as I got.

Crazy Land denizens kindly held a Team Ggirl meeting, complete with warm, homemade cookies (of many kinds) and a lovely parting gift. Let us all celebrate my upcoming surgery! My friend the Information Superhighway did lots of shopping and arrived with a whole grab bag of cookies, magazines, crossword puzzles, toiletries...all gifts that were useful and touching. I like to recount the foibles of my co-workers, but my feelings for virtually all of them are quite cordial. Clueless though they may sometimes be, frustrating in the extreme and wildly annoying though they may be, I'm very deeply touched that they care. Not to be cynical, but warm cookies is a Team Ggirl event that's a win-win for everyone and is not necessarily a reflection of how much I've endeared myself to my coworkers.

That completely halted the workers' comp paperwork fiesta, which just means I have to focus on it immediately tomorrow, along with getting my biopsy slides sent to M.D. Anderson. There will be plenty of faxing going on. I got a call on Friday from my dermatologist's office, letting me know they sent the biopsy results, instead of the slides. No one told me that's what they were sending. Nor did they tell me whom to call to arrange it for myself.

I have a late afternoon appointment with the dermatologist tomorrow. I'm sure we'll be covering all of this. That means my last day of Crazy Land will be a short one. That would be great, but my tasks require more time than I may have at my disposal.

I guess that's another antidote to anxiety. Owner asked me today how I got all of the new insurance stuff taken care of. "I worked my ass off." I will be working said ass off again tomorrow. Lots of the workout will be personal, so I don't suppose complaint is order here.

The upshot is that I may be away for a while from my online friends and my own weblog. Rest assured that all is well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. (Bowing to Julian of Norwich.) I'll see you when it's all over, if not before.

P.S. Sorry for the wholly unimaginative title line. What can I say?

Too Much Going On, Including Surgery

M.D. Anderson is clearly in sight now. I'll be leaving Wednesday to ensure I get to an early morning sonogram. Later on, The Beloved Dr. Ross. I'm hoping on this trip, he'll ask me to move in with him so he can take care of me forever. Let's not forget that I have hair and muscle tone now. Anything could happen. (Obviously, I'm hard-pressed to contain my anxiety. Dr. Ross is the perfect antidote.) Friday, I drive back to Austin.

On Monday, I drive back to M.D. Anderson for pre-op consults and an appointment with Dr. Kronowitz early Tuesday morning. Wednesday: Surgery.

I got all new "roll out" materials to their appointed destinations and provided on-site managers with extra copies of required forms. I rock.

For all the lovers of Crazy Land tales, an encounter with Foot Lady for your pleasure. I went downstairs to her office to provide her with the extra forms to take to her supervisors. Guess what we talked about next? Yes! Yes! Her feet! She did not plop her foot on the desk for illustrative purposes, but she did flop it on a nearby chair. Some things simply will not change. Foot Lady's ongoing foot problems is one of them.

The workers' comp company is driving me to distraction. I received a new claim today for an insect bite. I recently allegedly gained the ability to submit claims online. Twice I have tried it, twice it has not worked. I called tech support today, told the guy the problem, and he says, "Well, you got me stumped. I'll have to have someone call you." Great. I've got all the time in the world.

I submitted yet another paper claim, after having wasted a fair amount of time and an enormous amount of patience trying to get the lightening-fast online reporting system to work. I got the letter to the employee printed, but that's as far as I got.

Crazy Land denizens kindly held a Team Ggirl meeting, complete with warm, homemade cookies (of many kinds) and a lovely parting gift. Let us all celebrate my upcoming surgery! My friend the Information Superhighway did lots of shopping and arrived with a whole grab bag of cookies, magazines, crossword puzzles, toiletries...all gifts that were useful and touching. I like to recount the foibles of my co-workers, but my feelings for virtually all of them are quite cordial. Clueless though they may sometimes be, frustrating in the extreme and wildly annoying though they may be, I'm very deeply touched that they care. Not to be cynical, but warm cookies is a Team Ggirl event that's a win-win for everyone and is not necessarily a reflection of how much I've endeared myself to my coworkers.

That completely halted the workers' comp paperwork fiesta, which just means I have to focus on it immediately tomorrow, along with getting my biopsy slides sent to M.D. Anderson. There will be plenty of faxing going on. I got a call on Friday from my dermatologist's office, letting me know they sent the biopsy results, instead of the slides. No one told me that's what they were sending. Nor did they tell me whom to call to arrange it for myself.

I have a late afternoon appointment with the dermatologist tomorrow. I'm sure we'll be covering all of this. That means my last day of Crazy Land will be a short one. That would be great, but my tasks require more time than I may have at my disposal.

I guess that's another antidote to anxiety. Owner asked me today how I got all of the new insurance stuff taken care of. "I worked my ass off." I will be working said ass off again tomorrow. Lots of the workout will be personal, so I don't suppose complaint is order here.

The upshot is that I may be away for a while from my online friends and my own weblog. Rest assured that all is well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. (Bowing to Julian of Norwich.) I'll see you when it's all over, if not before.

P.S. Sorry for the wholly unimaginative title line. What can I say?