Okay, let's pause for a moment and review. In the past ten years, I've
*lost my father to suicide
*lost my oldest and dearest friend to a heart attack
*lost another old and dear friend because our relationship had become toxic to me
*lost my Malamute
*lost two beloved cats
*lost my breast
*lost three years of my life to breast cancer
and now I've lost my therapist of 14 years. If the universe is trying to teach me something about loss, I hope I figure out the mystery some time soon. I'm not up for any more losses (as though any of us has a choice).
I really think I get it, though. Life is about loss. Sooner or later, we will lose everything and everyone we love. Refusal to accept that fact is the very definition of suffering. I understand that down to the marrow of my bones.
I'm trying to keep an open mind and open heart so that, if there are lessons I haven't yet learned, they will reveal themselves to me. Of course, I'd just have to move on to another set of lessons I haven't gotten yet. That's kind of scary.
I'd really like to just coast for a while.