Looking Back Again

My grandfather was conveniently missing for some period of time, but resurfaced just long enough to propagate another 3 or 4 kids. I think my dad had 11 kids in his family. But guess what my grandfather did then! He left! Good God, why would you possibly go back to having sex with this guy? Apparently my grandmother was overly optimistic.

Some time in there, though, my grandfather was busy sexually abusing his kids. I'm pretty sure he did something sexual to my father. I know for a fact that he had a sexual relationship with at least one of his daughters. My grandmother held that against her. Needless to say, her mental health was badly compromised. She made several visits to a psychiatric hospital when she became an adult. Much like most of the other siblings, she had a real fondness for alcohol and any drugs she could wheedle a doctor into providing to her. I was always surprised that she didn't attempt suicide. Maybe she did and I just never found out about it.

So that's kind of how it went for my dad. Is it any wonder he was such a complete mess? He was estranged from his father for about 20 years. I remember that he came for a visit when I was home from college one year. I'm sure my dad made me talk to him, but I know I didn't have much to say because I'd heard so many bad things about him. Plus, he just seemed like a complete asshole. I don't understand how anyone could meet him and not see that he was an asshole. Have kids with him? Oh my god, no!

My mom's childhood is shrouded in mystery to this day. She grew up in South Carolina in a little tiny town that had a post office and a general store. She had six siblings. She went to live with her grandmother when she was a young child and continued to live with her until her grandmother's death. My mom was 14 when she finally went to live with her parents. Her oldest sister lived with another relative for some period of time. I'm not sure if or when her sister moved back in with the family.

My mom's family didn't have any money. Both she and my dad were depression-era babies who endured additional shortages during World War II. My mom told me that when she was in junior high school, she was taking home economics (I'm sure that was the only thing girls were allowed to take) and they had a home decorating project. My mom didn't have a dresser or vanity table, so she ended up covering some crates with fabric. The class all came over to see the project and my mom was embarassed by her lack of real furniture. That story always makes me sad. But then I remember that, from the time I was 12 until I got some furniture when I was 18, we had no living room furniture. I think we had one of those dinette set things long before they became kitschy and cool.

She met my father when she was in high school and got pregnant. That's why I'm here. My dad had been in the army by then. I believe he was drafted, but I'm not certain. Anyway, he went AWOL at some point. Of course, they tracked his sorry butt down and took him directly back to the brig. My dad pitied himself about this his entire life. It's one of those things that used to drive me nuts. What else were they supposed to do? Say, "Oh poor baby, you don't like being in the military? Well that's okay. You just go ahead and go home." Duh, Dad. He had some other run in with the military guys when his first wife gave birth to his first child, a son. She gave the baby my father's name--Prentiss--which my dad thought was reasonable justification to beat the shit out of her. The military guys came right on over and took him to the military version of the psych ward. My dad also pitied himself over that and would tell me, as if it made complete sense, "I told her not to name him Prentiss."

Here's the quote of the day:
"Don't hold your parents up to contempt. After all, you are their son, and it is just possible that you may take after them." ~ Evelyn Waugh

America held hostage day 1911
Bushism of the day:
"A surplus means there'll be money left over. Otherwise, it wouldn't be called a surplus." -- Kalamazoo, MI 10/27/2000

Website of the day: Integral World: Exploring Theories of Everything
http://www.integralworld.net/