10 January 2008

A Nipple Waiting To Happen

Nipple reconstruction was postponed and I'd actually cheered up, thinking that we might not be able to reschedule it for a month or so. The nurse called me a minute ago to advise me of my new date, next Tuesday. She also advised me regarding what I can expect pre- and post-procedure. It does not sound good. More not bathing, more huge dressings. Great.

Prior to the cancellation of this week's scheduled nipple work, the Inner Fascist had a return engagement to help me cope with my anxiety. It appears that, when distraction finally fails me, self recrimination steps in to take up the slack. I noticed the Fascist voice very quickly this time and told her to stop. Loudly. Once was not enough, but at least I heard the inner taunting relatively soon after it started. Having made the connection between anxiety and the IF while I was in the midst of making myself feel bad was a big step forward. I'll have more time to practice by late Saturday afternoon, I'm sure. By then, distraction will have lost its power to disguise my anxiety.

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