I awoke this morning with a migraine and aching hips. These are clear indications that a front is coming through, but that knowledge doesn't make the pain go away.
I was going to write about my difficulty in standing up for myself, being assertive with people I don't know well. I'm not sure why it hadn't dawned on me sooner that I'm fearless in confrontations at work or when I need to protect someone I love. I have endless amounts of courage when I need to protect animals or I wouldn't have braved The Pimp, The Meth-head and Lillian in order to rescue some puppies. For me? Not so much. I have to practice and hope that my tendency to lapse into enthusiastic politeness won't overcome me when I'm face to face with a situation in which I need to take care of myself.
That's it, though. No more about that. The migraine rules and it declared that I don't have the intellectual or emotional stamina to rummage through that enormous pile of problems. The more critical issue: My mp3 player died. At least it made it through my last M.D. Anderson marathon.
Nonetheless. What a cruel universe to leave me songless.
11 September 2008
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