Log On 60%

Mr. Moneybags called on the intercom to tell me he was going to shut the server down and reset it.

Two minutes later, someone knocked on my door. Guess who? Loathsome.

"What did your computer do this morning?"

"You mean what's it doing now?"

Loathsome looks confused now that I've posed that question. Try again.

"What's the problem with it?"

It was doing things he'd never seen before and wouldn't allow him to log on. I suggested that he wait a few minutes until Bags reset the server and try again.

"No, that's not it. I've already done that three times, " he said.

I tried to explain why he should try one more time. Sometimes Loathsome gets this look on his face that's part confusion, part frustration, part dumb suffering. If he were a horse, I'd shoot him to end his misery. Instead, I proceeded to his office. I restarted and it got stuck. We did this four times and finally I restartedt in safe mode. At least that way Loathsome could look at his email and surf the net for whatever hugely important tasks must be accomplished today.

I went back to my office and finished up some work on my computer, then went to make some copies in the foyer in our suite of offices. While I was copying, I noticed Loathsome's shadow like carrion ready to lunch on dead meat. Dead meat. That would be me.

"Did you get an email from me?"

I had no idea.

"I don't know. Why?"

"It's not working," he said. I was about to go back to his office when Moneybags appeared at the printer right next to the copier I was using. Bags told Loathsome to log on again.

"Huh?" The famous Loathsome response to everyone, generally repeated 3 times before you can move on to the next sentence.

Moneybags said, "Log on again. Log on again."

Loathsome looked at me like I was his life line. "All the way?"

No, I did not tell him to log on 60%, but you know I wanted to.


Nine days.