Jamie told me that his most recent girlfriend had been living in California, which is where he lived when they met. Details were a little sketchy about that relationship, but he told me he decided to end the affair because she was unable to have children. He said she'd phoned a couple of weeks prior to our lunch and informed him she'd be coming to the city that weekend (the weekend of the lunch date). He said she might well be there when he got home. Jamie seemed to bitterly resent the fact that she sold her house in California and made a profit. Once again, I was amazed and baffled.
I told him Kenyon called me to let me know you died and how much I appreciated the fact that calling me with that news was very brave and very kind. Jamie asked if Kenyon knew Bill wasn't his father. Bill knew he wasn't the father, I told him, but I'd never asked about Kenyon. I just naturally assumed he knew because I can't imagine you withholding that information. The fact that Jamie was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis must have reminded you of the necessity for telling Kenyon. Anyway, I said I decided a long time ago that if you wished for me to know, you'd tell me. Jamie said he has no interest in taking a role in Kenyon's life. He acknowledged that Bill raised Kenyon and, therefore, he really has no right to intrude into that relationship. He also asked me to contact him should Kenyon ever ask me about his birth father. I agreed to his request, knowing that scenario is highly unlikely.
At that point, lunch was over and, since Jamie didn't express any interest in how things are going for me, it was definitely time to leave. I said I'd get in touch with him if i was able to find a job that seemed right for him. (I'm still interested in doing that, but I'll be damned if I can figure out what he's qualified for.) He glumly requested that i call him sometime. Another disconnect. What the hell is that about? Furthermore, I can't imagine why I'd wish to spend another couple of hours listening to him complain.
On a more positive note, I looked fabulous. I know this is shallow, but I work very hard to maintain myself. In fact, I sometimes wish I could just send some photos of my butt around to all of my former boyfriends. It looks much better than it did when I was 20. I hope he passed that info on to E.U. Jamie is about as close to him as I care to get. I don't think I'm really ready to get together with any of the men I slept with 30 years ago. Don't you think that would be just too weird?
Enough already. Please know that I tried to do what I thought you'd wish. Jamie wondered how I might find out whether you had a chance to tell Kenyon about him. I have absolutely no intention of pursuing that information. I can't imagine anything more destructive.
Quote of the day:
“One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.” Leonardo daVinci
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