Loathsome's Proposal

I think I mentioned earlier that Loathsome is back with us. (Settle down, ladies.) We've already had more than enough interaction to last me about a decade. We're in the same suite of offices, unfortunately. Last week, we had a 30 minute conversation about what he and his psycho wife have for dinner every night. This was in the context of my own food dilemmas--what will Hubby eat, how much time and energy do I have to prepare it, etc., Loathsome had an extensive list of suggestions. No, I've never heard of fish. Ditto tacos.

He's been stalking around the office, telling everyone that he's been to some big meetings the past couple of weeks and he's working on some proposals. This should not be monumental, impressive news seeing as how it is his job. Loathsome reminds me of a pigeon during mating season, his chest all puffed out, strutting through the building, looking around to monitor who's noticing. He's doing proposals, people. Sit up and look suitably awed.

You know how I am: friendly, approachable. Loathsome stopped me in the receptionist's area this morning to let me know he submitted a bid that will save the client tens of thousands of dollars.

"That's what you're supposed to do, right? Save the client money?"

I couldn't figure out whether he was really confused about that or if it was rhetorical. I answered yes, just in case. I was never able to ascertain whether he actually knew the answer before he asked.

Loathsome then waxed eloquent in excruciating detail all about the cost saving idea. My eyes had begun to glaze over when the Superhighway walked in. I excused myself and trailed after her, mumbling that unfortunately I had to immediately resolve an issue regarding another one of our offices. I could see Loathsome pitied me for having to leave our spirited discussion of the requirements of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Later this morning, Loathsome's name came up during a conversation with Mr. Moneybags. He suggested that Loathsome's new office nickname should be Isaiah. He was referring to the mind-boggling level of incompetence Isaiah Thomas brought to his job with the New York Knicks. Thomas has been banned from even talking to the team, just as Loathsome was prohibited from talking to anyone in our out-of-state office after he returned from there to our corporate office. Mr. Moneybags can be very, very funny sometimes. I signed on immediately. Of course, I'll continue to call him "Loathsome" in these posts.

We're having an office luncheon today to celebrate Administrative Professionals Day. No one really wants to do it, but if we don't, Crazy Employee will be crushed. I'm forcing everyone to show up, even Golf Pro, who would normally beg off. No way, Pro. We all have to honor Crazy's endless uselessness in all things administrative.

Who knows. It could be fun. Owner will be there, so Loathsome will be the primary focus of his current bad mood. Even Owner's relentless disdain won't diminish the pigeon walk, but you can't have everything. If I find it amusing, I will most certainly recount the high points.