Contents of Tote Bag, For Catherine

I'm unable to escape my sadness, just as I'm unable to escape the paint fumes and the roar of a generator being used to power wash the outside walls of Crazy Land. If I felt like working, it would be a waste of time. The printer/copier was broken by the painters. We've been waiting a day and a half for someone to show up and fix it. I could be working on the ever-expanding database, but frankly, I'm simply not in the mood. Furthermore, I'm still off Ritalin and it's having a negative effect on my ability to concentrate.

As an alternative, I offer this: a review of the contents of my tote bag. A while back, my friend Catherine and I listed for each other the items we carry in our purses. Her inventory was spartan. Mine was a bit less so. I fudged a bit, though, choosing to not reveal the pile of (necessary) flotsam and jetsam I carry around in my enormous tote bag. In my defense, I never had a tote bag before the long days at M.D. Anderson.

Catherine, here's what I lug around with me every day. I hope it makes you laugh a little.

*My breakfast and lunch: two granola bars (the healthy kind), a small piece of cheese, an apple, yogurt and V-8 juice (these last two generally dropped off at the downstairs refrigerator).

*An EpiPen, in case I get stung by another wasp and have an anaphylactic event.

*Tissues.

*A hair brush.

*A small emergency sewing kit.

*A small emergency manicure kit with nail clippers, tweezers, two nail files and a tiny pair of scissors.

*Hand cream.

*A little notebook, presumably there in case I lose my all-important bigger notebook I carry in my purse. You never know when, in a crunch, you won't be able to get to the notebook in the purse and be unable to record some critical information.

*Glasses case. Sometimes I have to take my contacts out. Yes, I also carry a contact lens case.

*A Tide-to-go pen. Again, emergencies abound.

*Band-Aids. I dropped those in the tote bag before I developed my severe allergies to all adhesives. (Note the extra critical nature of the EpiPen in case I forget and slap one on my body.)

*A lint brush. I have two fuzzy dogs. A couple of years ago, I decided that maybe it's not such a good thing to be cavalier about carrying hair remnants on my person all the time. I always thought of the hair as reminders of the creatures I love. Turns out no one else sees it that way.

*Antibacterial moist wipes.

*Post It notes. I have no idea why.

*A large bottle of Accetamine. Very necessary after surgery when you've run out of prescription pain medication.

*A couple of small packages of crackers. Another M.D. Anderson necessity. Ditto the chewing gum.

For my upcoming marathon visit to M.D. Anderson, I will probably add a book and my mp3 player. I don't know why I'll take the book; I can never concentrate enough to read. That knowledge won't stop me from taking one, though. I can always listen to music.

Turns out the list was quite revelatory. I'm clearly constantly in crisis mode. That realization doesn't alter the humor of taking my entire house with me wherever I go. Or at least the medicine cabinet. So laugh with me, Catherine. And love to you.