01 November 2004

Dark Days For A Birthday

"Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these" ~Susan B. Anthony

When I saw my therapist on friday, she suggested to me that I might want to take a break from my excursions into the past. It's been a really dark couple of weeks and this one doesn't seem to be starting out much better. Too many anniversaries.

My birthday is this week. My co-workers are pretty excited about it; they never miss an opportunity to have cake. I hate birthdays. It has nothing to do with getting older; I've hated them most of my life. I would offer explanations, but that would mean talking about the past. I know birthday celebrations are important to other people, though. I've come to believe that allowing others to give you gifts is actually a gift to them. since I've come to that realization, I try to be as celebratory as possible. I find myself too down really to write about anything. I may be able to muster some interest in something tomorrow.

No comments: