Better and Worse

"The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering." ~ Ben Okri

Better today. I took a nap yesterday and got 6 hours of sleep last night. It's stopped raining, the sun is shining. Though it's certainly not as frigid as my photograph would indicate, it feels that cold to me. I think the temperature is somewhere around 45 degrees. Anything under 60 degrees is cold to me.

We had sad news yesterday in Crazy Land. Crazy Employee's mom died of a heart attack Friday night. My co-worker and her youngest daughter were visiting her mom for the weekend. They'd had dinner together, along with some other family members in town for the Rose Festival weekend. I hate to refer to her as "Crazy Employee" under these circumstances, but that's the name I always use. She was really close to her mom and I know these are terrible days for her. Please say a prayer or keep a good thought for her and her family.

I wonder if my long-term sleep deprivation is related to the anniversary of my dad's death. That occurred to me a couple of weeks ago, but we're inching up to that black day, so I guess I'll find out soon. This morning I was thinking about the months and months when not a thought passed through my head. The mind was still. The only thing I had to focus on was the most immense pain I've ever experienced. An hour could seem like six. I was stuck, waiting for the pain to become more bearable. I had to wait a very, very long time.

I didn't mean to veer off into sadness and, as a matter of fact, I thought of an entertaining cluster of Crazy Land stories to share. The sunlight shining through my windows reminded me of that time. For the moment, I'm flooded with memories.

It must be time to work on my database. I'll try to get back to Crazy Land nonsense a little later today when I'm more settled.