Who You Calling Stupid?

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." ~ William James

This is not funny. It is, however, predictable. Co-worker Loathsome is in charge of a project that involves millions of dollars of equipment. We discovered yesterday that last week (last week!), one of those multi-million dollar tools was broken by several of our employees. Loathsome did not feel impelled to report it to anyone. Not the owner of the company. Not the comptroller (aka Money Man). Not the client. Not even our company's supervisor of the project. "It's been a well-kept secret," he confided.

The only reason anyone here knows about it is that somehow the client finally found out about it and wishes to be reimbursed for this broken equipment. The company has plenty of insurance to cover the loss. Loathsome requested a copy of the insurance policies for a meeting with the client's representatives. When people inquired as to why he needed the copies, Loathsome replied, "We broke some equipment." I was in the office when he made that confession. I screeched, "What!?" and hotfooted it out of there so I wouldn't start yelling at him. Even though I try not to get emotionally involved in company business, there are still some things that never fail to make me crazy. Breaking ridiculously expensive equipment a week into the job is one of those things. As is failing to report it when that happens.

The fact that no one, including Loathsome, reported the accident to anyone is unbelievable. The owner of the company asked him (in a meeting in which I was not present) why he hadn't reported it. "I guess I felt ashamed," he replied. So he hid it. I have no idea what he thought he was going to do. Maybe he thought they could blame it on someone else: "It wasn't us; it was that guy over there from the janitorial firm." Maybe he thought they could say it was broken when they got it, "It looked like that when it got here. We didn't think it was actually broken. We just thought it was innovative design." Maybe like Spicoli in "Fast Times At Ridgmont High," he thought, "Dude. I can fix this. My dad's a tv repairman."

He admitted to the owner of the company that he knew keeping it a secret broke all of the company's rules and that his behavior was woefully unethical. This is proof positive that if, at 40, you have no clear idea about the difference between right and wrong, 20 years later you still won't. Loathsome has been involved in some other questionable activities, but I guess I thought even he wasn't that untrustworthy. Or that stupid.

I still don't have the full story. One of my coworkers is supposed to come over to my side of the building later to tell me the rest of the sorry hijinks. You know, I wasn't happy when Loathsome was strutting around like the proverbial peacock after he acquired the contract, but knowing his ass is in a sling over this isn't very satisfying, either. Sometimes I'd rather I wasn't right. (I know that's hard to believe, because we all know how much I like being right.)

You can not imagine the level of silence in this office today. There are several people who have wanted Loathsome to go for years now. I don't know if I wanted him to be fired for the past 20 years, but I definitely thought he should be held up for ridicule if only because he's pretentious, pompous and duplicitous.

I think it could go either way. If I were a betting woman, I'd say he's staying. Why? Because the owner may decide it's more cruel to keep him than to fire him. My boss is expert in punishing people. And he takes a certain amount of pleasure from it. He's not the kind of guy who easily lets go of a grudge. As a matter of fact, his memory for transgressions rivals mine. I have to admit that I've taken some gratification from his tenacity over the years. Having never been the brunt of it, of course. When the owner and I disagree, we just yell at each other. I don't think we've disagreed in the past 15 years. Works better that way. For everyone.

The last time we disagreed, it was about whether Loathsome should be fired. This time, I officially have no position on that question. Besides, I know the odds are against me. Why get your heart set on something when an alternative exists that might well be better? I'll just be in my office, waiting for the other shoe to drop.