Introducing the Information Superhighway

I knew the Information Superhighway several years before she came to work in Crazy Land. She worked for another firm that provided services to my company. When Money Man was hired, Owner decided we needed a trustworthy assistant and she seemed to be the perfect candidate. (The acquisition of Money Man was yet another complex story I'll get around to at some point.) She was (and still is) hardworking, dedicated, thorough and intelligent.

Several years ago, I started calling her the Information Superhighway whenever I discussed her with my family. You know the importance I place on entertainment value when it comes to Crazy Land--even with my own family.

Anyone who's ever worked in an office knows (or has known) at least one person like her. Superhighway takes great pride and pleasure in maintaining a rather intense personal relationship with all of the people she meets in a professional capacity. She's friends with our contract employees and friends with employees of service providers. I mean as in coming over to her house friends. This quality is deeply perplexing to me. There are certain benefits, though, like knowing about the personal lives of all of these people.

Superhighway doesn't like all of her coworkers, but she has the lowdown on all of us. If you tell the Superhighway something, you can bank on the fact that everyone else in the office will know about it within 48 hours. I have sometimes floated information through the Crazy Land pipeline via the Superhighway. It's s almost always a tactical decision, but during my cancer treatment, she was very helpful to me in keeping everyone up to date on the progress. She's so much more effective than a group email. She may be faster in disseminating the skinny than any electronic means. I've tested the method over a period of years and it's always been reliable.

Obviously, it's critical to edit out any negative comments about anyone here in Crazy Land. Don't think for a minute that negative comments are excluded from dissemination. As we all know, I believe in direct discussion with co-workers. I do not engage in unfriendly chatter about them and I don't respond to office gossip. Engaging in that self-indulgence is unprofessional and overstepping that boundary can also have unpleasant ramifications. In virtually every job I've ever had, I made it a priority to identify the Information Superhighway in the company. The Superhighway can be an important strategic tool.

This all sounds very cold-hearted, but that's not the case. She's a personal friend and has been for years. I have actually been to her house not once, but twice. This is virtually unheard of in my professional history. After I've spent at least 40 hours a week with people whom I've not chosen to be a part of my life, I do not wish to see them socially. I made a mistake in breaking that rule early on in my career and the co-worker practically took over my personal life. She was an alcoholic and the director of the company. Another story, another time. Superhighway has been granted special dispensation, but I've done about all I'm going to do in that regard.

Well, time has slipped away once again. Rat Man called to ask for help with MS Word, so I spent some time with him. People here believe I know everything about software. (They seem to believe I have a more than passing familiarity with many things. Beats me.) That assumption is gravely incorrect and I have no idea what makes them believe it. Generally I have to keep trying things until I get it figured out. Sometimes I have to override built-in capabilities and do it the old-fashioned way. Luckily for Rat Man, I had encountered this problem before and resolved it relatively quickly.

Then my mom called because she was having trouble logging in to one of her newly created online bill payment services with one of her fave companies. Oh my god, what a poorly designed site. I had to click "Pay Bill" on literally five separate pages to actually get to the place to pay the bill. Mom has dial-up, so that complicated everything. She couldn't see the screen as I walked through it because, of course, she was talking to me via the land line. We decided that we'll revisit the process this evening. That will probably be far more effective. She also had some questions about spam and anti-virus programs. I suggested that we proceed one baby step at a time, because it can all be overwhelming at first. We're going to conquer the payment issue first.

I'm not sure I had any more information to impart about the Information Supherhighway, but I speak of her relatively frequently and I thought you'd enjoy a more well-rounded picture of her and the role she plays in Crazy Lane.

We still haven't covered Useless One or the Question Lady at all. And there's more to say about Money Man, Lying Boy, Daddy's Girl, Rat Man and maybe Owner. Owner is iffy. He not only pays my salary, but has been friends with my husband and me for over 35 years. Not that he doesn't have quirks. But then don't we all. I may even have to cover some of my more negative (but entertaining) personality traits as they manifest themselves in the Crazy Land environment. I certainly bring some nuttiness to bear in my work life. Hell, let's cover it all.